These are a few of my favorite things.

It's 12pm, and I haven't gotten out of bed yet. Well, I have, but only to rinse my sinus cavity (hold on, I'll explain), take a decongestant, and make a smoothie. I suppose I can no longer live in denial and admit to myself that I'm sick. No running, today or tomorrow. Under normal circumstances, if someone instructed me to go a day without spinning my wheels a little bit, it'd be a miracle if I listened to them. If I did by slim chance, I'd be surprised if it didn't drive me borderline nuts. Clearly I'm pretty sick, because there is not a single cell in my body that wants to run. Or shower. Or eat solid food. Or perform any task that requires functioning on a higher level than that of say, a toddler.

Sometimes I think of me as two different people: sick-Tayler and me-Tayler. Sick-Tayler refers to me before I gave up eating all the allergens that I go without now. I was sick, tired, miserable, and frankly, not nearly as good as me-Tayler, or present-day Tayler. Of course, I'm sick today, but Sick-Tayler being sick was a totally different story than the girl most of you know being sick. Before, being sick was much much more than a physical thing;  it had heavy emotional and mental effects. Before, I still had the brain, personality, and all the physiological traits that I have now, but it was like someone had taken a little gray veil and pulled it tightly overtop, dulling and restricting them. You could see through the gray haze what was inside, but it wasn't anywhere close to what it could be.

No one likes being sick, so to say "I admit that I hate being sick" would be a stupid statement. I still am slightly annoyed that I'm sick, but I'm not fixated on the work that I'm not getting done, the miles that aren't getting run, and all the other things on my to-do list that are going to go untouched. I'm in attack mode: be proactive as possible to help my immune system beat the shit out of this bug who has robbed me of a sunny afternoon 400m session. I got a decongestant. I've been taking echinacea and zinc. Instead of eating any junk that sounds appetizing, I'm slamming juices and smoothies with as much nutrition as I can cram into about 16oz.


Being sick is obviously not what the title of this entry references. Among the things I that I do like is Brother's Drake mead. If you don't know about mean, it's just wine made with fermented honey instead of grapes.  Isn't that a lovely little shot? That was taken at Bodega where they have a cocktail on the menu with the Drake elixir and a splash of ginger ale. Divine. I like to rep the local businesses. However, I advocate avoiding the sauce when you're sick (yes, even in that Hot Toddy.)

I love these temporary tattoos. I exercised a little retail therapy whilst licking my sick-wounds today and bought the awesome chubby baller-man.

I love this mango veggie smoothie from Naked Juice. Anything with sweet potato in it is fine by me.

I love this fresh juice of lemon, ginger, celery, grapefruit, and green apple. I can't say enough about lemon juice. It's antioxidant power is beastly; have you ever put lemon juice on sliced apple or avocado to keep it from turning brown? I want that awesomeness in my gut.


Another one of my favorite things: flavors for smoothies that involve non-drinkable foods desserts (cake, pie, cookie...). You might notice a pattern. Red velvet cake, snickerdoodle, German chocolate cake, key lime pie. You get the point. I could keep going. Another one of my favorite things: Amazon Subscribe and Save. Ironlady, another member of the Columbus Running Company family who is also gluten and dairy intolerant, told me about it and recommended it as a great place to get a huge selection of gluten free products with free shipping and and discount for subscribing. Choose your own shipping frequency. No contracts. Cancel anytime. Seriously. After going through 4 cans of pumpkin last week, I decided to add that to the list of things Amazon sends me on a monthly basis. Ridiculous?

Maybe. But it's wonderful for everything, including desserts in a glass. Cue electro dance mix and boogie to the blissful thoughts of cool, creamy pumpkin pie through a straw. I'm not a huge pumpkin pie fan, probably because compared to chocolate pecan or nonveggie-based pies it tastes a little...healthy. It's a different story if you throw some vanilla coconut milk ice cream on top. Then I'm sold. Before I gave up the cow, I would die a little bit inside when Edy's pumpkin ice cream was discontinued post-Thanksgiving season. This smoothie is basically like an Edy's pumpkin milkshake, but with Superman nutritional value. To kick it up even one notch further, I add Trader Joe's Very Green powder to all my smoothies. It looks like mold. It goes completely unnoticed in smoothies. I feel good when I know I'm drinking chlorophyll. And no, I'm not kidding. I'll hide as many good-for-you things in a smoothie as I can without it turning into a non-dessert, so I threw in 3 aspsaragus spears for a little extra zinc content. Spinach or any other green would work, and zucchini is pretty easily camoflaged as well. 

Pumpkin Pie in a Glass

 Ingredients


1 cup unsweetened almond milk
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
1tbsp chia seeds
1/2 cup canned pumpkin (not pumpkin pie filling)
tsp vanilla extract
3 asparagus spears (optional)
3 oz silken tofu
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp ground cardamom
1 tsp lemon juice
1 tsp Very Green powder (optional)
3-4 ice cubes

Combine all ingredients in a high speed blender until well combined. Since you can't lick the inside of a glass, I suggest serving in a bowl.

Wicked Wednesday

Robin Hood, robbing from the rich to give to the poor. The Boondock Saints. Batman. Walker, Texas Ranger. Kicking ass and taking names-but only of the assholes of the hour.

I've long had a fantasy of getting in a movie reel-worthy bar brawl. And no, nothing like what would happen if you cut in line for the ladies room at Brothers or any other turd-magnet establishment. I'm talking some Ed Hardy gelled-up meathead is disrespecting his small, pretty, quiet date and somebody's gotta do somethin' bout it. With their fist. I want that to be me.

Not the ideal story to set up for a superhero alter ego, I get it. It puts one at risk for sounding something like Whitetrash Woman rather than Wonder Woman. Or a Housewife of New Jersey. Regardless, each week on Wicked Wednesday, I'll take some time to highlight the Villain of the Week: those who need the ass-kicking that can only be dealt by a badass do-gooder.

This week: driver turning right at stop signs who rolls right on through, only looking left and not right.

I'll tell you why I hate this guy: because just as he's pulling right, I'm trying to run by, and he never sees me coming. I'm usually running at the butt crack of dawn, so I'm dragging-ass-tired, or I'm recovering from some insano workout prescribed by Coach, so I'm dragging-ass-tired. Then, I must break the rhythm that I had likely worked so hard to establish, and then find myself in the world of lead legs again. This usually results in me screaming something like "are you REALLY NOT LOOKING AT ME?!?!" in a gradual crescendo so that he might perhaps hear the last couple words and poop his/her pants in fright. Sometimes, fear is not evoked because they're not only driving but also entertaining multiple other stimuli at the same time, so I end up getting something more like this:

Or alternatively, if I'm particularly razzed (because I'm extra tired, or hungry, or both), I'll smack the side of their vehicle as hard as I can and hope that he/she fears they've run over something. There are certain neighborhoods where I do not utilize this form of notification of their crap driving.

Okay, now that the villain has been established, we need to talk superhero. Superheroes, much like runners, need a finely-tuned engine. You want a performance vehicle? You bet your ass your Maserati isn't running on unleaded. Bodies work the same way. You wanna ask a lot of it? You gotta put good gas in it. Cue lights: superfood. Superfood is a trendy term that's been popular among foodies and fitness freaks alike for foods that are....well, better than average, at the very least. These are foods that have a big nutritional bang. Part of me wants to know the exact standards or cutoffs a food has to meet before going from a normal healthy choice to a superfood.

Superfood of the week: rainbow swiss chard. Think of this guy as the funfetti icing of the leafy greens section. I'll admit it; until last week, I was a swiss chard virgin. Then I made this soup, and I was sold. It has a sturdy, hearty flavor that I found surprisingly tasty. And forget the gatorade; chard (and veggies in general) are loaded with electrolytes including potassium. A half cup serving of chard has almost as much as a banana. As with other leafy greens, it packs a powerful vitamin C, K, and E punch, and of course that fiber to keep ya regular. I knew you were worried. Runners (especially non-meat eaters) will like it's iron content.

Don't particularly love leafy greens? Don't worry. I'll admit, the leafy ones are my least favorite of the vegetables. We can work our way around that: the green monsta.

I know what you're thinking. It looks like baby puke. Fine, maybe it does, but it tastes like a vanilla blueberry milkshake. Don't be a wuss. Put on your superhero pants and drink it.

Chard Green Monsta


Ingredients


One whole swiss chard leaf, stem included
1/2 cup blueberries
1/4 cup summer squash, chopped
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
1/2 - 1 cup almond milk
ice, as needed
stevia, to taste
1/4 tsp sea salt
1 Tbsp ground flaxseed

Combine all ingredients in a high-speed blender until smooth. (I let mine go for nearly 5 minutes. No way was I chomping on pieces of chard in my vanilla milkshake.)