Wicked Wednesday

The words are almost jumping out of my mouth and onto the keyboard; the Villain of the Week was an easy decision this week. I was in the middle of an easy run having a little thinky-think yesterday, and almost as soon as the words "Villain of the" were processed, a kid rode by me on his bike on a campus sidewalk. Cue ominous beats: this week's VoW is the crowded sidewalk cyclist.

Summery hipster

A few Sundays ago, Girl Tights and I were putting in some Sunday miles heading north on High Street. A the corner of 5th Ave. and High, a flannel-donned Hipster whizzes around the corner on her perfectly weathered 10-speed quick enough so we were about nose-to-nose before I even knew she was there. And  it wasn't my nose I was worried about. That front tire on her vintage Schwinn was pointed right toward my lady parts.

(As an aside, I realize that it might come off as if I'm making fun of hipsters. Maybe I am, a little bit, but merely for irony since I have been accused of being a liberal hipster and living in a liberal hipster neighborhood on a number of occasions. I'm okay with it. If you want to know more about being and living like a hipster, check out this blog entry over at Verbal Vomit. I laughed. )

I know I don't have all the goods down there that Girl Tights has, but let me tell you something: getting hit in the lady junk hurts like a motherf*#$er. I ran into the corner of a desk in the second grade. Life-changing pain. The experience was so life-changing, in fact, that I'm fairly sure it was the reason why I am hardwired so that upon first awareness of the wheeled Hipster, fight-or-flight instincts overtook my left arm which shot in front of me as fast and as hard as my neuromuscular system could permit. My hand, ninja-ed Bruce Lee-style directly into the middle of Hipster's chest, stopping her so that my hoohah was mere inches away from a black rubber death.

I've had several other incidents with sidewalk bikers, most of them on campus, and most of them on crowded sidewalks. I've never been able to figure this one out: why must we ride our bikes on such sidewalks, making it impossible to move two-wheeled vehicles any faster than a walk's pace anyway? I'm also that subscribes to the notion that if you're walking on the sidewalk, the same rules apply to you that apply to cars on the road. We walk on the right and pass on the left. And we certainly don't walk in the left lane when there is oncoming traffic. All these rules go to shit with pedestrians, and even more so when you throw a bike or two in there. It's not a good sign that my first instinct is to shoot my left elbow out anytime a sidewalk Contador goes flying by me. There have also been numerous times when I've seriously contemplated the Big Daddy stick-though-the-spokes trick. Let's get it together: bikes and all other "cars" belong IN! THE! STREET!

Whew. I feel better now. Okay, onto superfood: ginger. It's an ugly little root, but this knobby herb is a powerful anti-inflammatory which is something everyone can get pumped about. Me and my porcelain digestive system love it because it combats nausea and indigestion in about every sense of the word, including acid indigestion and gas. When I feel like someone's blown a balloon up in my gut, I juice some lemon and ginger root and throw it on some ice with some water and it does WURK. It is also suggested that this guy helps relieve motion sickness and promotes general digestion. Recent studies have shown that ginger root directly affects the muscle tissue in the digestive tract, preventing abnormally strong and fast abdominal cramping. Hello, ladies: have some ginger tea during your "special time" and see what it does for you. Aside from digestive inflammation, ginger has been shown to relieve symptoms of rheumatoid and osteoarthritis, and new developments in the study of diabetes in animals shows that ginger may help to lower blood sugar and cholesterol levels. Even studies of ginger root and the suppression of cancer cells are of recent interest, though these studies are very preliminary. Basically, the moral of the story is that this root is a baller.

How do I eat it? Frankly, I dump ground ginger into anything that makes sense. Juices, smoothies, stir-fry, oatmeal, and baked goods, but Snickerdoodle Alo Bites are a simple, easy favorite. (Also pictured are the blueberry pie variation.)

 
Snickerdoodle Alo Bites

Ingredients:
1/2 cup medjool dates
2/3 cup raw, unsalted cashews
1/2 cup unsweetened coconut
2 tbsp chia seeds (or ground flax)
1 tsp extra virgin coconut oil
1/4 tsp sea salt
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp vanilla extract

Pit the pits from the dates and add them, along with the coconut, and coconut oil to food processor and process until dates and coconut are finely chopped. Be sure not to process too long; your mixture will turn to paste and wind up in one big ball of dough spinning along the inside of the processor bowl. The mixture should have a "meal-ly" consistency. Transfer the date-coconut meal to a bowl, add vanilla, and set aside. Process the cashews and chia seeds to the consistency of a fine meal. Again, avoid over-processing, as the cashews will turn to butter. Add the salt, ginger, and cinnamon to the cashew-chia meal and pulse a few times to combine.  Knead the cashew-chia meal into the date-coconut meal with ever-so-slightly dampened hands (this will prevent the mixture from sticking to your hands.) Add in chocolate (or white chocolate!) chips if desired. Roll into balls and store in the fridge.

Why does "fridge" have a "d" but "refrigerator" doesn't? Oh, and what's up with the goofy name? I'm currently slacking on some statistics, so we'll have to leave that for later.