Cooking for kitchen idiots: How I came to cook.

If you would've met me a year ago and asked me how much time I spent in the kitchen, my response would've been drastically different from my response now. I never cooked, not because I was intimidated because I didn't know "how," but because I hadn't made what I was eating a bigger priority. And since I did so very little of it, I hadn't realized how enjoyable it could be.

I always laugh to myself a little bit when people tell me they don't know how to cook. I think people minds get clogged with the stereotypical stories of women learning how to cook from their mothers, family recipes being passed down from generation to generation, etc, etc. It's a lovely attempt at an excuse to not cook: "I don't know how." Okay, I'm calling bullshit. No one gave me cooking lessons. Nope. Not my mother, grandmother, nobody. I learned by trial and error. It's a highly underrated learning technique. I can count on one hand the number of times I've made something that I wouldn't serve to someone else. And no, I wouldn't serve up some garbage just to be an asshole.

I had no idea what the hell I was doing in the kitchen. Still, I'm not sure I'd say that I "know" how to cook. But listen to this: what if I told you there are these cliff note-type of cheat sheets made exactly for people who have no f$&!ing clue what they're doing in the kitchen? Yes! They exist! They're called "recipes!" I know you can follow step-by-step instructions. Does your tongue work? Brilliant. If it tastes okay, then you haven't done anything wrong. Taste after every step. If it tastes wrong at any point, then last-executed step was muddled up.


Soups in particular are so difficult to screw up. The chances of winding up with something burnt are quite slim, and if you have a crock pot or rice cooker, they require almost no attention. Don't like a particular ingredient a recipe calls for? Leave it out! Throw in something you do. No one said you don't get to eat if you don't adhere exactly to the recipe. Yesterday I threw some stuff that works fairly well together in a pan. Here's how I did it.

1 15 oz can pumpkin puree
4-5 cups water
1/2 cup dry quinoa
1 small onion finely chopped
3 cloves garlic finely minced
1 tbsp ginger root, peeled and finely minced
1 cup frozen green peas
1 pint cherry tomatoes
2 tbsp white miso
2 tbsp chili powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp cayenne
1 tbsp curry powder
1 tsp tumeric
1 tsp cumin
1 tbsp coconut oil
sea salt, to taste

Soak the quinoa in water and set aside (to help cut the potential bitter taste.) Place the pint of tomatoes in the food processor and process just until the tomatoes are all chopped uniformly. In a large pot, heat the coconut oil over medium heat. Add the onion, garlic, and ginger and saute 2-3 minutes or until the garlic is fragrant and the onions are soft and translucent. Add the tomatoes and saute for an additional 2 minutes. Add the pumpkin and water and stir to combine.

 Increase the heat to high and bring to a boil. Drain the quinoa, and add it and all of the spices except the miso to the pot. Boil 2-3 minutes and decrease the heat to a simmer.

Add the peas, and reduce heat to low and simmer for an additional 10 minutes. Stir in miso. If the soup is not as thick as you would like, continue to simmer until soup has reduced to desired consistency, stirring occasionally. Add sea salt as desired.

Again, the measurements for the spices are merely suggestions. I have a heavy hand for any indian spices, so I'd probably dump more in. Again, taste as you add. Just don't burn your mouth.

Sunday Supper: Curried Pumpkin Quinoa Soup

If you haven't seen this film, you need to get your butt to a theater fast. The Artist is a silent film set in the roaring twenties which I appropriately saw at The Drexel. I was instantly enthralled with the glamour of the era; I left wishing that I could sport rouge, fringe, and a finger roll-wavy coif and tap dance my way everywhere. I also fell in love with the significantly older French star.

Aside from seeing this, this weekend's activities included but were not limited to 

• running a 17-miler with 45 mph gusting winds on Saturday morning
• destroying an orange vodka-spiked lime slushie and some tatertachos dirty and vegan-style at Dirty Frank's
• making raw protein Tagalongs and curried pumpkin quinoa soup. Yes, Tagalongs as in Girl Scout cookies. Stay tuned for the deets.

Isn't it dreamy? Quinoa is my new food crush, and we all know that pumpkin will forever be a dream boat, long after winter dies and it's out of season. And those dried cherries on the top are pretty. I love soups because they're nearly impossible to f*!$ up. You throw stuff in a pot. Taste as you go; if you use the right ingredients, it's impossible to end up with something that tastes bad. If you want a slightly different flavor, tweak the spices. Measuring cups and spoons should be outlawed; soup recipes should merely be taken as bend-able guidelines. I'll share my malleable instructions tomorrow; I'm tap dancing my way to bed.

Vegan hot chocolate

What do you prefer with your peanut butter? Jelly or chocolate? Tough decision.  So, this morning, at breakfast, I had both. PB&J Pancakes and Vegan hot chocolate.

Vegan hot chocolate with PB&J pancakes in the background.

At some point, I saw Alton Brown do something like this on Good Eats. I think. It was a vague and foggy memory, but something in my brain suggested, "mix the cocoa with oil so it isn't gross and powdery." I listened. Good choice.

1 t coconut oil (melted)
1 t cocoa powder
1/2 t coconut sugar
1 cup non-dairy milk

Combine melted oil and cocoa powder until smooth. Add sugar. Add milk, heated to the temperature you like to drink and stir vigorously. If you have the ability to shake, or even blend/pulse it in a blender. I'd even suggest that. If you experiment with that method, use fridge temperature milk and heat up the suspension once it is... suspended.  I only stirred mine so you can see the teeny tiny chocolate particles. I don't have issues with food textures, so it didn't bother me.  If you have a texture issue, I'd recommend an OT evaluation using the shake/blend/pulse method. Though I should have used my immersion blender.

PB & J cookie dough pancakes

At last! A Friday without work or a gazillion appointments! So what did I do? I made pancakes. A great, late breakfast after sweating my face off at the gym.

PB Pancakes
1/2 cup beans
1/4 cup + 2 T PB
1/2 cup non-dairy milk
1 T baking powder
1 flax egg
1 t coconut sugar
1 t chia seeds
1 T buckwheat flour

Pulse or blend together peanut butter, beans, and milk in food processor until smooth. Add in everything else and pulse/blend. Drop by the tablespoon onto a griddle or pan with 1/2 T oil (recommend coconut oil) on medium heat.

Silver dollar sized PB pancakes on the pan

You can omit the buckwheat flour, but the pancakes will be lighter and crispier. I think they are pretty.

Pancakes without flour, They look like lace cookies!

I also recommend adding another 1/2 T oil between batches so your pancakes don't burn. Burnt pancakes remind me of my Italian grandfather commanding, "Mangia, mangia!" as I stared at a plate of black pancakes. Perhaps this is why Grandma Terelle did most of the cooking.

"Jelly" Topping
1/2 cup strawberries
1 t coconut sugar
1 t coconut butter

In a saucepan, combine all topping ingredients in a sauce pan and reduce over medium heat until thickened. I added a probiotic capsule after I turned off the heat. Just cracked it open and sprinkled it in. Because I love my probiotics.

Early in the reduction. Mmmm strawberry "jelly."

These were so delicious. I took a few too many pictures and started thinking of more varieties before I'd even found my fork.

Peanut butter and jelly. In pancake form!

Better late than never and the 9 stages of Hanger.

I know, I know. It's Thursday, and I failed to name a VoW and the superfood of the moment yesterday for Wicked Wednesday. However, this week's superfood is so seriously awesome, that I couldn't stop myself from dedicating an entire post to them. Medjool dates: if they were a man, I'd throw away everything and run away with them. Okay, maybe not, but I might marry them one day.

I realize that I'm getting a little ahead of myself. (I do that from time to time. Unbeknownst to most, despite my potentially calm exterior, my insides are usually tearing along at breakneck velocities most hours of the day.) Before the hero comes the asshole, so I need to get to the Villain of the Week first.

I need to preface this declaration of VoW with a little background. I truly believe everything is all about perspective. We choose to see things as they are and think the way we think. We choose how to interpret everything, whether it be a book we read, a bit of conversation with a friend, or even the slightest facial expression on a passing stranger's face. We choose whether we want to cast things in a positive light or a gray cloud of pissy. You can train yourself to change perspective. You just have to want to do it.

Things happen, though, that sometimes cloud our perspective. Doing big miles every week often leaves me hungry at any given point in a day. A tiny hunger pang won't shift my perspective, but once I get to the point of no return, I am overcome with what some refer to as hanger. Hanger = hungry + anger. One who is hangry is suffering some a state of irritability or frustration resulting from operating in a prolonged state of hunger. Once I become hangry, nothing can stand between my food and me. If I am behind the wheel, road rage ensues, and I become irate with anyone not driving 10mph faster than the general flow of traffic. Stop signs turn into yield signs, and yellow traffic lights turn a florescent green. If I've just run, there is no question that a shower is coming after dinner. In fact, there is absolutely nothing that cannot wait until after dinner. The downward spiral of the progression of hanger are illustrated here:

                

Stage 1: Hunger strikes in the form of current thought/activity being interrupted by a tiny hunger pang.

Stage 2: Hunger pang grows and subsequent thoughts of food become louder.

Stage 3: Thought/activity is slowed by increasingly frequent thoughts of food.

Stage 4: All internal processes are haulted and all available information processors are overcome with hunger pangs and food thought. 

Stage 5: Hanger victim becomes crippled and internal processor in danger of  overheating. Emergency situation.  Victim becomes irrational and possibly dangerous.

Stage 6: Hunger oblivion. Victim becomes delirious, completely unable to process any thought at all. The body is much like a nosediving 747 without a pilot. 

Stage 7: Victim is a shell of original self. Oblivion ensues.

Stage 8: Ability to process thought slowly returns, but all internal processes are hunger pang-driven. Victim  may become very volatile and uncooperative.

Stage 9: Victim is essentially reborn with the sole purpose of obtaining food.

Note that all food thoughts do not have to be cake-related. The Mac Paint illustrations are the brilliant handiwork of the super hysterical author of Hyperbole and a Half. This entry is one of my favorite blog entries, um, ever. You see, once I enter stage 9, my perception of reality becomes greatly distorted.

Yes, I'm rambling, but I arrive at my point here: the Villain of the Week. There is a woman down the hall from my office in the Research Tower who, I am fairly sure, possesses telepathic powers. Every time I go out to the 2nd floor microwave to thaw my morning smoothie, she manages to arrive seconds before me and nukes her tupperware of rice and vegetables (not frozen, mind you) for an eternity of six minutes. The six minutes ensures that (1) I am forced to make the impossible decision: do I stand there forever with nothing to do in order to maintain my spot in line or go back to my desk and multitask for the next five and a half minutes, risking another nuker hopping in front of me in the que? (2) my hanger progresses a minimum of two stages and (3) any nutritional value that was previously in those vegetables is long gone by the time she takes her first bite which is surely delayed due to the inability of the human mouth to tolerate such extreme temperatures.

I am good at maintaining good external composure during these situations, however, the internal fire that rages when I walk out just in time to see her index finger hit the automatic cook 6 button can be  summed up in the following:

Onto the hero: dates are a superfood, but maybe in a different sense than say kale or chia seeds. I wouldn't hesitate a second to chomp down a handful of dates as they are (minus the pit) but a handful of raw kale doesn't quite get me all hot and bothered. I use them in everything. They're wonderful chopped over a salad, used raw in my Alo bites, subbed in as a binder in baked goods, and date paste is my first choice for sweetener. I could rant forever about the evils of refined sugar and other artificial sweeteners like Equal and Sweet & Low, but I will save that for a completely separate day.

Four medjool dates contain almost 7g of fiber and are a hot source for electrolytes. One serving contains almost half of the recommended daily allowance of copper which helps combat anemia. It's a lovely assistant for making red blood cells. God knows I love those. 13% of manganese and magnesium and 15% of your daily potassium come in a serving, too. Boom. Take that, Gatorade. I packing a powerful B-6 punch, these little candies of nature are an anemia shield.

Date Paste


Ingredients


6-10 oz hot water
8-10 oz medjool dates

Fill a jar or glass with about 6 oz of piping water, and add your dates. Soak the dates for 15-20 minutes. I like to use a 16 oz. jar and fill slightly less than halfway with water, then add dates until the jar can't hold anymore material. Remove dates from the water, reserving the liquid, and add to a blender. I prefer to throw the dates in the food processor first to help the process along, and then add to the blender. Gradually add the date water and blend on high speed. Add water a tablespoon at a time to achieve the desired consistency. I like the consistency of my paste to resemble that of applesauce. Add to smoothies, baked goods, or spoon on top of coconut ice cream or soy yogurt.

Giggle Pill and Broccoli Soup

In case Monday is raining all over your parade, I saw this over at Ill Behaviour and laughed almost nonstop through the entire song.

Even if you didn't need a giggle, I feel like I should provide at least a little humor considering the recipe I'm about to share with you on a Monday. Liz typically provides a comfort food recipe to alleviate any case of the Mondays, but my Green B.E.A.N. bin came with an abundance of broccoli this week. I know, broccoli gets a bad wrap, but this soup, inspired by this recipe, is legit.

It looks like Christmas in a bowl! I know, another green food. You're turned off. Stop. I put it in an orange bowl! Everyone knows that the color orange is known to stimulate appetite! Plus it goes well with the green. The unexpected combo of roasted apples with roasted broccoli is spot on, and the thyme and tarragon tie in perfectly. Coconut oil helps with a silky smooth texture; the cilantro was motivated purely by the desire to spiffy up the picture. Totally optional, though I do love the freshness a nice chop of the green brings. Did you know that some people have genetic makeup that makes the lovely herb taste like soap?  Unlucky.

Roasted Broccoli and Apple Soup


Ingredients


2 granny smith apples, cored
300g broccoli, chopped
1 clove of garlic, finely minced
1 tbsp parsley flakes
2 tbsp dried thyme leaves
2 tbsp dried tarragon leaves
pinch sea salt
pinch smoked paprika
2 tbsp nutritional yeast
3 tbsp coconut oil
1-2 cups vegetable stock

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Chop the apples and toss with 1 tbsp of coconut oil, parsley flakes and 1 tbsp each of the thyme and tarragon. Roast for 20 minutes, or until tender. Remove and set aside to cool.

Meanwhile, heat the remaining 2 tbsp of coconut oil in a large saute pan and saute garlic and broccoli broccoli 3-4 minutes, or until crisp-tender. Add the apples and additional tbsp of thyme and tarragon and saute an additional minute. Add 1 cup of the stock and bring to a boil. Blend in batches or with an immersion blender until smooth, adding additional stock as needed to achieve the desired consistency. Sprinkle with paprika and cilantro for Christmas.

PB&J spinoff smoothie

I'm a bit obsessed with peanut butter. Some days, I think I eat it at all three meals. Today, I needed a pick-me-up for day 5 of 6 in a row of waking up at 5:15 AM. The life of a gym-rat.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Smoothie

Peanut butter and Jelly Smoothie
1.5 cups non dairy milk
3T peanut butter
1T strawberry jelly
4 frozen strawberries
1/2 a banana, frozen (about 1/3 cup)
Nutrient boosting add ins: chia seeds, probiotic powder, flax seeds, etc

Use an immersion blender for quick clean up!

Mix it in your blender. Pour into a cup and enjoy. The best part is that this kept me full until lunch even after a swim workout! And it made work on a Friday not so bad.

Fess-up Friday: Guilty Pleasures

It's been a couple Fridays since I've posted about a guilty pleasure, so the couple weeks' accumulation gives me plenty to ramble about today.

I am the Jeremy Lin bandwagon jumper. The worst part is that it's not that I didn't know who he was until he started tearing shit up for the Knicks. He raised a little bit of attention when he got drafted by the Warriors after being Harvard's first NBA draft in over 50 years. At Harvard, he wasn't even offered a scholarship coming out of high school. Eight teams invited him to pre-draft workouts in 2010, and none of them snatched him up. The dude has a degree in Econ from Harvard. I'll go ahead and hop in line-how many chicks do you think are in front of me?

Pinterest. Oh, pinterest: the guilty pleasure of all females out there who know what it is. Pinterest is the place that I can go to waste more time looking at things I want to cook, make, read, wear, etc. than I will actually spend doing these things. I know this, but it's not going to stop me from continuing the behaviour.

Kathy Lee and Hoda. By no means do I want to degrade the experience and knowledge that these two woman possess, but their segment on the Today Show is, at times, laden with nonsense and ridiculousity and sometimes includes wine as early as 10am. Yes, "ridiculousity" is a real word. Being under the weather the last couple of days has allowed me to indulge in enough of their segment to dream of getting paid to sample PB2 and advise a British teenager where to go for NYC's best eats before cutting to commercial break by breaking into a duet rendition of Miley Cyrus's Party in the USA.   I'm also pretty sure that even if there is a script written for them, 75% of that plan goes to hell on a daily basis. I could do that kind of broadcasting.

Being under the weather has also guaranteed that I will be missing my 5k opener at Kent State this Saturday, which has also lead to a small amount of self pity and wallowing. Under any kind of undue stress, I tend to appease myself by baking or cooking, so yesterday when it finally hit me that I wouldn't be lacing up my spikes on Saturday morning, I went to work on some pre-race breakfast and post-race recovery fuel for my fellow CRC kids who will.

I don't trust anyone who doesn't love a PB&J sandwich. I don't advise making a habit of it, but if you want to really take the standard PB&J and skyrocket it from fabulous to change-your-pants awesome, throw some chocolate chips between your PB and jelly layer. Chocolate automatically makes anything better, and I'll argue that crunch also does the same. I've been aching to make a quinoa-based energy bar, so I made a few tweaks and changes to this recipe in conjuring up these bad boys, inspired by the change-your-pants awesome PBC&J sandwich:

 Chocolate PB&J Quinoa Protein Bars

Ingredients

3/4 dry or 2 cups cooked quinoa

1/2 cup pitted dates

3 tbsp coconut sugar

2 tbsp coconut oil

2 tbsp ground flaxseed

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 cup protein powder

1/2 cup peanut flour 

1/2 cup combination of raisins and dried cherries

1 tsp ground ginger

Preheat oven to 350 and line 9 x 5in loaf pan with parchment.

Rinse the quinoa and soak in water for 10 minutes or so, then drain. Bring one cup of water to a boil and add the pre-soaked quinoa. Cover and simmer for about 12 minutes or until all of the water has been absorbed. 

When the quinoa is cool enough to handle, combine all the ingredients except the peanut flour and dried fruit in a food processor. Process until fairly smooth; the mixture will never be quite silky-smooth because the quinoa grain is so small. Add in the flour; pulse to combine. Stir in dried fruit. The dough should look like thick cookie dough. Press into loaf pan and bake 20-22 minutes, or until you can put a fork through the center of the loaf and it comes out clean. Store in the refrigerator for up to a week; the bars will keep in the freezer for up to 3 months.

Per my entry Wednesday, you saw that I am currently a little fixated on pumpkin. I love all things pumpkin, including Clif Bar's seasonal pumpkin pie flavor. I have no idea why we've chosen to elect pumpkin as something only eaten between mid-October and late December, but I think it's ludicrous. Obviously when I was deciding which copycat Clif Bar flavor to make, it was a no-brainer. However, I decided to put a slight little savoury twist on it. Don't turn your nose up; just trust me. 

Black Pepper Pumpkin Spice 'Cliff' Bars

Ingredients

1 1/4 cups GF crisp rice cereal

1 cup GF steel cut oats

1/2 cup pumpkin puree

1/3 cup brown rice syrup

2 tbsp coconut oil

1 tbsp ground cinnamon

1 tbsp ground ginger

1 tsp ground cardamom

1/2 tsp sea salt

1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper

2 tbsp ground flaxseed

1/4 cup finely chopped cashews (or nuts of choice)

1/4 cup finely chopped raisins and dried cranberries 

Preheat oven to 350 and line a 9x5in loaf pan with parchment paper.

Pulse the oats in a food processor until finely chopped, but before the oats turn to flour. Pour into a large bowl. Pulse the dried fruit until finely chopped and add to the oats. Do the same with the nuts. Add the nuts, dried fruit, flaxseed, salt and pepper to the bowl. Stir to combine. 

In a medium saucepan, heat the oil, pumpkin, and brown rice syrup on medium heat until the syrup is no longer viscous. Whisk to combine. Pour over the dry ingredients and stir until coated. You may need to get a little dirty and use your hands. The batter will be very sticky, so with slightly damp hands, press into prepared pan and bake for 15-17 minutes, or until a fork can be removed cleanly from the middle. 

Vegan, Grain-Free and Nut-free Chocolate Brownies with Mint Topping

Next week is Golden Gopher's birthday (henceforth referred to as GG or Geej). But today was the last day we would both be at work before her birthday. So we celebrated today. Geej loves the chocolate mint brownie from Sugar Daddy's, so I have started a tradition of chocolate mint creations when celebrating with her.

Now, creating treats for co-workers has become a challenge. Moreover since my cleanse, but even before. You see, Tiny Dancer is allergic to ALL nuts and eggs. Meanwhile, Crunchie Bar and I are still holding strong with gluten-free and dairy-free eating.  The challenge was to make a delicious, chocolate-mint creation that was (deep breath) gluten free, dairy free, egg free, nut free and free of all products processed in a facility with nuts. Oh, and it meant I couldn't use my food processor or blender, which have weekly, if not daily, contamination with nuts or nut products.

Challenge accepted.

I scoured the net. I really wanted something without tofu since I didn't think I could get it creamy enough without electricity. I couldn't find something that didn't have nuts as a substitute for grains. Or eggs as a substitute for flour. Or dairy in the frosting. I was also afraid black or garbanzo beans wouldn't mash up without a blade.

So, I decided to try an original creation. Chocolate brownies with white beans with avocado mint chocolate chip frosting and a chocolate shell. The result? Complete indulgence.

I wanted to use a sugar with a lower glycemic index. I ended up using white sugar out of necessity when I noticed my date sugar had a nut warning on the label as I was filling the measuring cup. Phew!

Here is what you need:

6 T pumpkin

3/4 cup white beans soaked and cooked

6 T melted coconut oil

2 tsp baking powder

1 cup white sugar

1/2 cup cocoa (Hershey's, to be nut-contaminant free)

1" of a vanilla bean, scraped or 1 tsp vanilla extract

2 avocados

2 cups powdered sugar

1 tsp mint extract

1/4 cup + an extra 1 cup "Enjoy Life" chocolate chips

In a ziplock bag (or in your food processor if nut contamination is not a concern) mash beans and pumpkin. I did this with a rolling pin and then with me hands. Pour into a bowl. Add melted oil, baking powder, sugar, vanilla and cocoa and stir until combined. Spread into greased 9x9 baking pan or muffin tins. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes (baking pan) or 15 minutes (muffin pan). Cool completely.

In the meantime, peel and mash the avocados in a bowl. I used my hand mixer. The beaters had been removed and cleaned compulsively. Gradually add 2 cups of powdered sugar while beating. Stir in extract and chips. When brownies are cool, spread with mint frosting. If you are worried about the frosting browning, don't be! It doesn't! But if you are, add 1 T cocoa and it will be brown from the start.

Melt the chocolate chips in a microwave safe bowl 3 x 15 seconds, stirring between intervals. Spread on top of mint frosting.  I think the extract prevented the avocado from browning.

The frosting is a bit more like a mousse because it is rather runny I read something about adding melted coconut oil to solidify the texture but I forgot to add it to this batch.

Everyone LOVED these. Well, Crunchie Bar, Tiny Dancer and I did. Geej thought the flavor was good but wasn't sure about the texture. Two out of three ain't too bad. My other two Wednesday co-workers were out sick today (not at all related to brownies) so they didn't get the change to weigh in. We will see what the Tuna has to say!

Brownie pan at the end of the day. Looks like success.

Variations of this recipe are definitely in my future!

In other news, I am contemplating calling Tiny Dancers and Crunchie Bar Juniors' allergist for some testing. Details to come, as available.

These are a few of my favorite things.

It's 12pm, and I haven't gotten out of bed yet. Well, I have, but only to rinse my sinus cavity (hold on, I'll explain), take a decongestant, and make a smoothie. I suppose I can no longer live in denial and admit to myself that I'm sick. No running, today or tomorrow. Under normal circumstances, if someone instructed me to go a day without spinning my wheels a little bit, it'd be a miracle if I listened to them. If I did by slim chance, I'd be surprised if it didn't drive me borderline nuts. Clearly I'm pretty sick, because there is not a single cell in my body that wants to run. Or shower. Or eat solid food. Or perform any task that requires functioning on a higher level than that of say, a toddler.

Sometimes I think of me as two different people: sick-Tayler and me-Tayler. Sick-Tayler refers to me before I gave up eating all the allergens that I go without now. I was sick, tired, miserable, and frankly, not nearly as good as me-Tayler, or present-day Tayler. Of course, I'm sick today, but Sick-Tayler being sick was a totally different story than the girl most of you know being sick. Before, being sick was much much more than a physical thing;  it had heavy emotional and mental effects. Before, I still had the brain, personality, and all the physiological traits that I have now, but it was like someone had taken a little gray veil and pulled it tightly overtop, dulling and restricting them. You could see through the gray haze what was inside, but it wasn't anywhere close to what it could be.

No one likes being sick, so to say "I admit that I hate being sick" would be a stupid statement. I still am slightly annoyed that I'm sick, but I'm not fixated on the work that I'm not getting done, the miles that aren't getting run, and all the other things on my to-do list that are going to go untouched. I'm in attack mode: be proactive as possible to help my immune system beat the shit out of this bug who has robbed me of a sunny afternoon 400m session. I got a decongestant. I've been taking echinacea and zinc. Instead of eating any junk that sounds appetizing, I'm slamming juices and smoothies with as much nutrition as I can cram into about 16oz.


Being sick is obviously not what the title of this entry references. Among the things I that I do like is Brother's Drake mead. If you don't know about mean, it's just wine made with fermented honey instead of grapes.  Isn't that a lovely little shot? That was taken at Bodega where they have a cocktail on the menu with the Drake elixir and a splash of ginger ale. Divine. I like to rep the local businesses. However, I advocate avoiding the sauce when you're sick (yes, even in that Hot Toddy.)

I love these temporary tattoos. I exercised a little retail therapy whilst licking my sick-wounds today and bought the awesome chubby baller-man.

I love this mango veggie smoothie from Naked Juice. Anything with sweet potato in it is fine by me.

I love this fresh juice of lemon, ginger, celery, grapefruit, and green apple. I can't say enough about lemon juice. It's antioxidant power is beastly; have you ever put lemon juice on sliced apple or avocado to keep it from turning brown? I want that awesomeness in my gut.


Another one of my favorite things: flavors for smoothies that involve non-drinkable foods desserts (cake, pie, cookie...). You might notice a pattern. Red velvet cake, snickerdoodle, German chocolate cake, key lime pie. You get the point. I could keep going. Another one of my favorite things: Amazon Subscribe and Save. Ironlady, another member of the Columbus Running Company family who is also gluten and dairy intolerant, told me about it and recommended it as a great place to get a huge selection of gluten free products with free shipping and and discount for subscribing. Choose your own shipping frequency. No contracts. Cancel anytime. Seriously. After going through 4 cans of pumpkin last week, I decided to add that to the list of things Amazon sends me on a monthly basis. Ridiculous?

Maybe. But it's wonderful for everything, including desserts in a glass. Cue electro dance mix and boogie to the blissful thoughts of cool, creamy pumpkin pie through a straw. I'm not a huge pumpkin pie fan, probably because compared to chocolate pecan or nonveggie-based pies it tastes a little...healthy. It's a different story if you throw some vanilla coconut milk ice cream on top. Then I'm sold. Before I gave up the cow, I would die a little bit inside when Edy's pumpkin ice cream was discontinued post-Thanksgiving season. This smoothie is basically like an Edy's pumpkin milkshake, but with Superman nutritional value. To kick it up even one notch further, I add Trader Joe's Very Green powder to all my smoothies. It looks like mold. It goes completely unnoticed in smoothies. I feel good when I know I'm drinking chlorophyll. And no, I'm not kidding. I'll hide as many good-for-you things in a smoothie as I can without it turning into a non-dessert, so I threw in 3 aspsaragus spears for a little extra zinc content. Spinach or any other green would work, and zucchini is pretty easily camoflaged as well. 

Pumpkin Pie in a Glass

 Ingredients


1 cup unsweetened almond milk
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
1tbsp chia seeds
1/2 cup canned pumpkin (not pumpkin pie filling)
tsp vanilla extract
3 asparagus spears (optional)
3 oz silken tofu
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp ground cardamom
1 tsp lemon juice
1 tsp Very Green powder (optional)
3-4 ice cubes

Combine all ingredients in a high speed blender until well combined. Since you can't lick the inside of a glass, I suggest serving in a bowl.

Monday Pick-Me-Up: Microwave Cake for One!

Today was a remarkably good Monday. I noticed that when my days are slamma-jamma busy, it puts me in a good mood. Weird. But the big reason it was a good Monday was that I was able to run 12 glorious minutes at the Monday Night Run!!

I've been in a melted chocolate and peanut butter on fruit kick the past three days, trying to finish up some left over fondue. Today was day one without fondue. I needed something to fill my chocolate peanut butter void.

Enter: chocolate peanut butter cake for one. Vegan and gluten free.

Ingredients:
1 T coconut oil
1 T pumpkin
2 T garbanzo bean flour
1 T rice milk (or other non-dairy milk)
2 T date sugar. Or you could use 2 T any sugar, to taste.
2 tsp agave
1.5 tsp cocoa powder
Crunchies as desired- I used about 1/2 T "Enjoy Life" chocolate chips
1 T peanut butter

Here is how it went down.
1. Melt coconut oil in a bowl in the microwave. 3 x 15 seconds ought to do the trick.
2. Swirl oil around to coat bowl
3. Add all ingredients except peanut butter and mix
4. Add dollop of peanut butter in the middle
5. Scrape down sides of bowl with spatula and cover peanut butter with batter
6. Microwave 2 x 30 seconds
7. Eat out of the bowl or invert onto plate and eat

In college, my bestie Jen-Jen and I would add a splash of milk/non-dairy milk to all our baked goods. Probably to make up for the lack of fat. So, I added a splash of rice milk to the top, which is why this photo looks glittery. And festive on a Valentine's Day plate! Also left over from the fondue/party.

Even better: a brownie recipe for an allergy-free crowd...coming soon!

My B.E.A.N. Bin

I came home on Wednesday and I felt like a 5 year-old who just woke up on Christmas morning when I found this on my back porch:

That, my friends, is greatness in a little green cooler crate. It's my first order from Green B.E.A.N. Delivery, which is a punchy little company making fresh organic produce and other locally produced groceries available and convenient. Very convenient. BEAN is an ackronym for the major initiatives of the group: Biodynamic, Education, Agriculture and Nutrition They pack these babies into a cooler with an ice pack and sit them right on your doorstep. The produce bins vary slightly from week to week, depending on what's in season and what's available. Now, for real?! Yes, for real. Seriously, they couldn't make healthy eating any easier unless they shoved the stuff down the hatch for you.

Some might be a little averse to the lack of consistency of the goodness bundled in the bin from week to week. I think it's great, and I'll tell you why: variety is the spice of life. Change it up! One key to eating healthy consistently? Not being bored. Curiosity in itself is enough to make you eat food, even apart from the taste. We all tend to find foods we really like and wear the hell out of them. I do it. Grapefruit has been my choice dead horse for the winter. I still love it, but with the variety comes new taste and nutritional benefit. Holla if you love the double dip...

This week my bin included a head of cauliflower, a head of broccolette, 4 pink lady apples, 2 grapefruit, collard greens, a yellow onion, 4 oranges, a bag of fingerling potatoes, and a pint of grape tomatoes (all organic.) What would I normally not gravitate toward in the grocery? The cauli, the fingerlings, and since I've fallen in love with chard, I'd probably go with that versus the collard greens. I still have some cooking to do, as I've been eyeballing this recipe and this recipe to use the greens and this one for the fingerling potatoes.

I curried some of the cauliflower and broccolette with some roasted parsnips and turnips and ate them with a black bean burger covered in a sauce of pumpkin puree, nutritional yeast, miso, and a little coconut sugar. Doused those things in parsley flakes and went to town on those buggers.
 
I made a new green concoction with some of the sturdy collard greens: the Maui Wowee Green Monstah. As suggested by the name, she's got some pineapple in her, along with a meijer lemon and some shredded coconut.

You can't taste the collard greens at all. I swear. And see, I'll even admit this to you: do not attempt to hide cauliflower in a smoothie. I tried it. I flopped. Hard. I wanted a pumpkin pie smoothie, and though I'd sneak a little extra nutritional bang for the bunch in there, so I pulled a chunk of the cauli off my bunch and threw it in the blender. Took a sample taste. It tasted like a pie. A pie made out of cauliflower. Gag. Gag again. Eventually I added enough additional milk, pumpkin, vanilla protein and cinnamon to cover that shit up, but it still took convincing myself with every sip that I couldn't taste or smell it anymore. See? The seemingly normal looking smoothie was nasty, and the scary green one is delicious. Don't judge a book, folks.


Maui Wowee Green Monstah

Ingredients

1 cup unsweetened almond milk
3-4 oz. silken tofu (or about 1/5 of the package)
1 tbsp chia seeds (or ground flaxseed)
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
1 tsp ginger
1 tsp cinnamon
1 large collard leaf, stem included
1/4 cup pineapple
1 meijer lemon, seeded
2 tbsp unsweetened coconut
stevia, to taste

Combine all ingredients in a blender on high speed until well combined, at least 90 seconds. Put on your lei, and hula immediately after consuming.

Food for thought, or thought for food?

My dear friend and training partner, Iceman, shared this story with me via Facebook, and it's prompted lots of discussion and lots of thought, at least on my part.

I consider myself very lucky to have very minimal to firsthand exposure to eating disorders throughout my entire running life. The glimpse that I have had was very sad to watch, and frankly, as a college kid, I just didn't understand it. If I was hungry, I ate. The thought that being lighter meant being faster never really occurred to me, and I can't tell you how extremely glad I am for this since I am naturally a very competitive person, especially with myself. Competitive drive and determination are essential to be extraordinary, but I think there is a point at which too much ambition can be a dangerous thing.

See, the thing is this: if it seems too good to be true, it is. Not "it probably is." It is too good to be true. There are no real shortcuts. Sure. Lose 5 pounds. You'll run faster. It's physics. Work = Force x Distance, and Force = Mass x Acceleration. It takes less work to move 105 pounds 26.2 miles than it does to move 110 pounds 26.2 miles. But the real question is what did it take to drop that 5 pounds? Cutting breakfast short before you were really full? Or even worse, going without breakfast altogether?  No dessert? No fat? Lots of restrictions, very few choices. Do these limitations create a lifestyle you can sustain forever? After you burn the candle from both ends long enough and the shit finally hits the fan, sure, you may have taken a big step forward, but how many steps back are you going to take now?

A group of neuroscientists and psychologists at Duke recently conducted a study on willpower, and how the brain functions in situations where our wants and needs are conflicting. The study concluded that willpower is like a muscle and can be strengthened through work. Sounds intuitive and much like common sense to me. The more disciplined we are, the more this discipline becomes a habit, becomes second nature, and hence becomes easier. However, even though it's difficult for many, runners in particular, to acknowledge (myself included), muscles need rest every once in a while. The same goes for this willpower muscle. And of course, we will experience the same ill effects of overtraining when we push willpower too hard, perhaps not immediately, but eventually. Consistency is a powerful thing in many arenas, and hammering full throttle on the willpower pedal is a quick way to destroy it.

Per the discussion of the above Runner's World article, Fresca Ninja said something that resonated with me very deeply:

Question your motives for choices before they become routines. Question your routines before they become rules. Know your priorities. Apply to eating/exercise/finances/relationships/etc.

It's a very simple statement, but it requires very conscious effort to execute. We all fall into routines and develop habits, some good, some bad. However, we will all benefit from the ability to ask ourselves the reasons for which we do (think) things. This gives us the power to control our habits versus letting our habits control us.

Wicked Wednesday

The words are almost jumping out of my mouth and onto the keyboard; the Villain of the Week was an easy decision this week. I was in the middle of an easy run having a little thinky-think yesterday, and almost as soon as the words "Villain of the" were processed, a kid rode by me on his bike on a campus sidewalk. Cue ominous beats: this week's VoW is the crowded sidewalk cyclist.

Summery hipster

A few Sundays ago, Girl Tights and I were putting in some Sunday miles heading north on High Street. A the corner of 5th Ave. and High, a flannel-donned Hipster whizzes around the corner on her perfectly weathered 10-speed quick enough so we were about nose-to-nose before I even knew she was there. And  it wasn't my nose I was worried about. That front tire on her vintage Schwinn was pointed right toward my lady parts.

(As an aside, I realize that it might come off as if I'm making fun of hipsters. Maybe I am, a little bit, but merely for irony since I have been accused of being a liberal hipster and living in a liberal hipster neighborhood on a number of occasions. I'm okay with it. If you want to know more about being and living like a hipster, check out this blog entry over at Verbal Vomit. I laughed. )

I know I don't have all the goods down there that Girl Tights has, but let me tell you something: getting hit in the lady junk hurts like a motherf*#$er. I ran into the corner of a desk in the second grade. Life-changing pain. The experience was so life-changing, in fact, that I'm fairly sure it was the reason why I am hardwired so that upon first awareness of the wheeled Hipster, fight-or-flight instincts overtook my left arm which shot in front of me as fast and as hard as my neuromuscular system could permit. My hand, ninja-ed Bruce Lee-style directly into the middle of Hipster's chest, stopping her so that my hoohah was mere inches away from a black rubber death.

I've had several other incidents with sidewalk bikers, most of them on campus, and most of them on crowded sidewalks. I've never been able to figure this one out: why must we ride our bikes on such sidewalks, making it impossible to move two-wheeled vehicles any faster than a walk's pace anyway? I'm also that subscribes to the notion that if you're walking on the sidewalk, the same rules apply to you that apply to cars on the road. We walk on the right and pass on the left. And we certainly don't walk in the left lane when there is oncoming traffic. All these rules go to shit with pedestrians, and even more so when you throw a bike or two in there. It's not a good sign that my first instinct is to shoot my left elbow out anytime a sidewalk Contador goes flying by me. There have also been numerous times when I've seriously contemplated the Big Daddy stick-though-the-spokes trick. Let's get it together: bikes and all other "cars" belong IN! THE! STREET!

Whew. I feel better now. Okay, onto superfood: ginger. It's an ugly little root, but this knobby herb is a powerful anti-inflammatory which is something everyone can get pumped about. Me and my porcelain digestive system love it because it combats nausea and indigestion in about every sense of the word, including acid indigestion and gas. When I feel like someone's blown a balloon up in my gut, I juice some lemon and ginger root and throw it on some ice with some water and it does WURK. It is also suggested that this guy helps relieve motion sickness and promotes general digestion. Recent studies have shown that ginger root directly affects the muscle tissue in the digestive tract, preventing abnormally strong and fast abdominal cramping. Hello, ladies: have some ginger tea during your "special time" and see what it does for you. Aside from digestive inflammation, ginger has been shown to relieve symptoms of rheumatoid and osteoarthritis, and new developments in the study of diabetes in animals shows that ginger may help to lower blood sugar and cholesterol levels. Even studies of ginger root and the suppression of cancer cells are of recent interest, though these studies are very preliminary. Basically, the moral of the story is that this root is a baller.

How do I eat it? Frankly, I dump ground ginger into anything that makes sense. Juices, smoothies, stir-fry, oatmeal, and baked goods, but Snickerdoodle Alo Bites are a simple, easy favorite. (Also pictured are the blueberry pie variation.)

 
Snickerdoodle Alo Bites

Ingredients:
1/2 cup medjool dates
2/3 cup raw, unsalted cashews
1/2 cup unsweetened coconut
2 tbsp chia seeds (or ground flax)
1 tsp extra virgin coconut oil
1/4 tsp sea salt
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp vanilla extract

Pit the pits from the dates and add them, along with the coconut, and coconut oil to food processor and process until dates and coconut are finely chopped. Be sure not to process too long; your mixture will turn to paste and wind up in one big ball of dough spinning along the inside of the processor bowl. The mixture should have a "meal-ly" consistency. Transfer the date-coconut meal to a bowl, add vanilla, and set aside. Process the cashews and chia seeds to the consistency of a fine meal. Again, avoid over-processing, as the cashews will turn to butter. Add the salt, ginger, and cinnamon to the cashew-chia meal and pulse a few times to combine.  Knead the cashew-chia meal into the date-coconut meal with ever-so-slightly dampened hands (this will prevent the mixture from sticking to your hands.) Add in chocolate (or white chocolate!) chips if desired. Roll into balls and store in the fridge.

Why does "fridge" have a "d" but "refrigerator" doesn't? Oh, and what's up with the goofy name? I'm currently slacking on some statistics, so we'll have to leave that for later.